Happy World Femininity Day
A day for acknowledging, respecting and celebrating Femininity in ourselves, in each other and the world!!
What’s this, I’ve never heard of this Day??
That’s OK, It’s only been happening a few years and ‘World’ is still a pretty ambitious title, but it’s World Femininity Day all the same…..why?
Because we flipping need one, (fyi masculinity is also gorgeous and vital and totally needs redefining and re-empowering too). But genuine feminine expression and power has been in short supply for a long time now, since, well…… the patriarchy began. We are out of balance on all levels and until the feminine in women, men, the world starts being respected as much as masculinity not a whole lot is going to change.
Is Femininity Frightening…?
I was scared to shout about femininity back when I started this event, I still suffered so much from the whole, need to prove myself thing- do, do, do, compete, compete, compete. Don’t let the side down, be strong no matter what, independant woman, having it all, achievement above all else. All commendable things, but when coming from a place of not being enough, needing to fix myself and measuring up to unrealistic ideals and pressures, I was left exhausted and unfulfilled. Deep down I had this hunch, this knowledge, forgotten knowledge even, that my true power didn’t look like the female version of a man, it was different; fluid and cyclical, instinctive, cheeky, fun, nourishing, magical and wise lead by curiosity and inspiration. I’ve followed my curiosity and now I’m a self professed; moon gazing, womb loving, star dancing, heart beating, glitter throwing, rose smelling, fully feeling, wild woman -embracing, feminine goddess, (Note -that’s my experience of living in my feminine, yours may be totally different and that is awesomely amazing too).
I am currently learning and sharing that as a woman, we are enough, I am letting go of stuff that doesn’t serve me and courageously opening myself up to receive all the good things, love, support….presents (I like presents 😉 I am taking my time, I am slowing down when needed and listening to my own rhythm’s and needs, it feels epically gorgeous!! And of course it’s all a journey.
WFD NYC 2011
Safe to feel feminine
It’s a journey I’ve always been on and in 2011 it reached a fever pitch for me.
I had been running the Cheek of It! for four years when I became acutely aware that the amazing results we were getting with the women we worked with all over world. Results that included; increased confidence, sense of purpose, friendships, improved or new relationships with family and loved ones, career changes, a renewed sense of joy and fulfillment were about far more than just a burlesque class, it was about giving women a safe space to access and be empowered by their femininity.
The whole conversation around what femininity is has moved dramatically in just 5 years but in 2011, femininity almost seemed like a dirty word, a stereotype created by sanitary towel manufacturers, something that is weak, a vulnerability that must be hidden, something to even be ashamed of. I think we had become so used to the idea that equality means you can have what a man has if you can act like a man that so many women have been sacrificing their feminine expression to survive. This is too a big a price to pay for a so called equality.
The Clittorati Party, London 2012
And it’s not all about the Ladies..
Femininity is an energy just like masculinity is, regardless of gender we are all part feminine and we are all part masculine so to oppress the feminine expression in yourself or others is to oppress us all.
WFD Zagreb, 2011
So why start a day of celebration?
In the May of 2011 I read an article about sex trafficking, Guatemalan women and girls being trafficked to the USA. Drugged, beaten, kept captive in tiny rooms and forced to sleep with over 14 men a day, some of these girls are as young as 12. I was so consumed with grief, anger, frustration, I couldn’t sleep that night. Stories like this will never cease to upset me. But what could I do about it? Because it’s not just this account of sex trafficking, the exploitation of women, children and men who are deemed to be too feminine, is happening the world over, from forced child marriages, to FGM, to honour crimes, to slut shaming to equal pay issues to name but a very few.
Furthermore as a believer in the law of attraction ( what you put your focus on, you get more of. Look no further than the war on drugs and the war on crime, to prove, that if you put your focus on the thing you don’t want, you get more of it) I wanted to focus on the thing I believe we need more of- the acknowledgment, respect and celebration of femininity, in ourselves, each other and the world. By validating femininity, bringing it’s power to the forefront, over time it has to be harder to abuse and exploit it, whether that be sex trafficking or the common place slut or queer shaming that takes place in any British classroom.
WFD Copenhagen 2011
A Global Conversation
So with a group of awesome, like minded women and men we created WFD 2011, within 5 weeks we had over 73,000 people from 23 countries engaged in a global conversation about what femininity means to them. We had events ranging from mini festivals, exhibitions, discussions, dance classes and private tea parties in London, NYC, Copenhagen, Zagreb and Rio. It was amazing, exciting, challenging, confronting, exhausting and totally worth it.
We managed another round in 2012 just in London, ‘The Clittorati Party’, raising money for Orchid Project who campaign to end female genital cutting.
We continued to support Orchid and invite people to explore and celebrate femininity in 2013 and 2014 and then celebrated by bringing the Clittorati party back in 2015 in London and Northern Ireland.
So many conversations have opened up, from the joyous to the angry, one in particular that divided many people is feminism, well guess what, you can be a feminist, (I am one) and totally celebrate your femininity at the same time, whether that be in heels or barefoot, pretty dresses or a trouser suit (It’s a whole other blog post) but it just goes to show that this topic is complex and challenging and so very, very important.
WFD London 2015
WFD Northern Ireland2015
What is Femininity to You?
So what is femininity to you? stop and think about it? What does it feel like, look like, how does it manifest in yourself in the world, how can it be celebrated, how can we work with our divine feminine to create balance in ourselves and globally?
For me it feels like an essential source of nourishment and power, a power that guides me to the authentic, full hearted, full bodied and fully fabulous experience of being a woman. I celebrate by dancing, singing, wiggling, being silly and mischievous, listening, creating and quite literally smelling every rose I can.
WFD London 2012
There won’t be an official event this year, instead we are working on the website, collating all the pictures, stories and experiences of the last five years…. and…..looking for a new leader. This could be an individual or organisation who feels deeply about this conversation and loves a good celebration. Maybe that’s you?
Watch The Clittorati Party Video Below from 2012; merkin making, window flash mob and live performance.
But in The Meantime….
I invite you to celebrate the feminine in yourself, each other and the world, today, in any way that feels right for you. Be the change you want to see and support the charities campaigning to end the exploitation and oppression of femininity in women, men and children.
Sparkler Ceremony WFD London 2015, Picture by Grace Gelder
I want to take this opportunity to passionately thank all the Women and Men who have given their time, talents and commitment to this event since 2011, Cheekettes, the London and NYC burlesque and cabaret community, The NI Viking Community, Dancers from Zagreb, Mummy’s from Copenhagen, artists/ crafty makers in Washington Square Park, my website men and techy peeps, my family and close friends,
We continue to support Orchid Project, you can support them here.
You can also find out more on our website here ( please note it is still under development) and find out the latest on Social Media, plus we have lots of suggestions of books, groups and communities you can explore if you need ideas on celebrating your femininity on
Facebook and Twitter