Zoe Charles, Founder and Head Teacher of The Cheek of It! Shares a personal Prayer and the first in a blog series about the Birth of her beautiful boy and becoming a Mother.
“I am almost 5 months into this incredible journey and have wanted to write about it from day one but just haven’t known where to start let alone have the time to do it. Then at 6am on Easter Morning this poem came tumbling out. A healing for me and every Woman who has experienced this immense transition. But also a heart riff to all women who have felt disconnected from their bodies at any time and for whatever reason.“
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry,
Deep, down, far, far away,
Exploring a new love that’s as old as time, a little boy, a life force you’ve been spiralling with, in so many forms for so many, many years, way before this time.
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry.
I see you, furrowed brow, deep in the puzzle, how to be, how to function, how to love, how to feel, how to remember, remember, remember.
Remember you, that carefree spirit, remember you, so confident and shiny, remember you so powerful and bold, remember you so graceful and delighted, remember you!
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry.
I see you, trying on your old skin, trying to fit in, trying to make it right, trying with all your might to be enough for this little man, the world and you, to be so many, many things,
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry.
You are the hugest power and love and magic and laughter and joy and lust and wonder and open-hearted, bare-souled glory, you are the mountains, the fields, the river, the forest, the grass, the birdsong and the roar of the ocean.
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry
How dare you try to confine yourself to a size, a shape, a title, a role an institution, a linear line of doing, doing, doing. You are not doing, you are the opposite of done, you are the undone, a circle, a cycle, a never-ending curve, a deep breath and a sigh of relief, over and over again.
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry
As you hold your belly, once gently rounded, then full and tight, now loose and spent, I see you define one shape as good and one as bad, I see you feel the shame and unworthiness that comes from the outside but feels like it’s deep within, a deep, deep secret of ‘not good enough’. I see you need, need so desperately to recognise yourself again, I see you need to escape, I see you dancing in your body but not in your eyes.
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry.
You are not meant to be just one size, just one shape, just one thing, because your gift is so much greater because you are undefinable, you are unstoppable; you are the power, the blood and the glory and that’s just the bit between your thighs. You are the life force, you are eternal love and you are wise,
Woman, shapeshifter, come home, come home, be with me, rest, breathe me, love me, I am your body and I love you
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry
You are everything, you are rhythmic and perfect timing. You are courage, the courage to grow, to be, to love and grow again.
Woman, shapeshifter, I see you, I hear you cry.
Deep, deep down and far away.
Woman, shapeshifter, listen, listen, listen, you are coming back to life and all you need is time.
Me with Osian age 6 weeks